SUMMERTIME FINE!!

Dear Diary,

I met this guy online who was STUNNING. I'm talking 6'4, muscular build, played soccer, the perfect specimen. After chatting online for a bit, we met for our first date and as soon as he opened his mouth I could tell he was a super NERD. Which was actually even more of a turn on, since his body was  crafted by the GODS!!  After our first date I learned he was really into power animals and zodiacs. I had never heard of "power animals" before but he wasted no time enlightening me. He even emailed me a detailed moon chart. His power animal was the eagle and he would talk about it non stop on the phone and in person. When we had a date at the zoo, he wanted me to meet his parents. At first I was a little shocked since things were still in the beginning stages, but let me clarify - he was referring to the eagles in the bird exhibit as AS HIS PARENTS. Umm yea I was dumbfounded too ! Our power animal as a couple was a squirrel he told me, so on dates he would name the trees. While we would walk, he would stop and start to walk around me in circles and say "I'm orbiting you, look, I'm orbiting you!" He did this multiple times. Can you imagine a tall handsome brotha telling me he's orbiting me?? He talked non stop about Japanese anime and even told me I reminded him of his favorite character (who was a male). I started to feel like I was babysitting a child instead of dating a grown beautiful man . He often played silly jokes that were sooooo annoying. After date 4 (that's right 4 dates because he was that attractive) I couldn't take it anymore. I flinched at the thought of him touching me, it gave me the willies. I had to throw in the towel someway, somehow!

While planning our fifth date he said he wanted to  further explain my moon chart to me. Via text I told him there would be no more dates. He said he didn't understand and was confused. I just said "I cannot continue on this path romantically". I didn't know how else to put it. I soooo wanted to like him because he was so FINE. He legit had a Steve Urkel voice, and once we even went to McDonalds on a lunch date. I know commercials make splitting a 20-piece look nice but I'm a grown ass woman. Between the 20 piece and him orbiting me  I had to let this fine BROTHA GO!