The Maybe a Baby Daddy

So, I went out with a guy who I had been dating off and on for almost two years. For the sake of this story, we will address him by his self-proclaimed name "Mr. Right" (funny, I know). So, we decided that we would hang out for two days since I was coming from out of town to hang out with him. First, let me describe him, so that everyone can get a mental picture. In the face, hmm, he's just alright. I wasn't sold when we first met. Brown skin, very smooth, about 5'9. He has a bit of a hairline problem, backed up, kind of like Sade. BUT, he is a full-time fireman, part-time martial arts instructor/competitor, so needless to say, his body is on point. So I said, hey, WTF? I decided to give him my number, and we connected.

The first night of our weekend date, everything was great. We had dinner, laughs, drinks, and just talked about our lives in general. The thing that attracts me to him the most is his sense of humor. He has the wildest stories about his job. You wouldn't believe some of the things that they encounter as community servants. The stories mixed with the alcohol intensified everything. It was a great date. We ended it by going back to my hotel and... Well, you know. *All smiles* No, really.

So, Mr. "Right” left that morning to go home and change, which, sort of surprised me because he lives about 45 minutes from where my hotel was. I couldn't understand why he didn't just bring a change of clothes with him, when he knew in advance that we were staying the night with one another. However, he is so amazing in bed, I couldn't complain. I just went with the flow.

He called about two hours later and said that he was on his way back to see me. I was excited to see him, and was eager to get a part two (hehe) before the next date. So I jumped in the shower, and decided that when he came back, I would answer the door, ahem, dressed in lingerie. I knew exactly what I needed to do, to get what I wanted. He had a tendency to play hard to get, and I wasn't taking no for an answer. I lotioned up splashed a bit of Chloe on my body and pulled my hair up in a bun. Five minutes later, he was knocking on the door. I jumped off the bed, opened the door, and to my surprise, he was carrying a baby and a diaper bag.

Yeah, my vag dried up instantly.

Now, Mr. Right claims that he does not have any children and that he is single. I don't understand, why he would bring a baby on a date, with a girl that you rarely see. So, I asked him, WTF is up with the baby? A three month old baby at that.

He claims that this kid, was his cousin's baby, and his "godchild" and he was babysitting. I asked why he didn’t tell me about this prior to coming back. He gave the following excuses:

1. He was on his way to see me, and then his cousin called, panicking because he needed a babysitter.
2. Once he picked the baby up, he tried to call me and realized his cell phone battery died.
3. He didn't think that I would mind and he wanted me to meet this alleged godson/cousin.

Hmmm. Not buying it. However, I decided to make a mental note of this bizarre encounter and just enjoy the rest of the date. While we had another great day, with a 3 month old baby (who by the way was absolutely adorable and VERY GOOD), I noticed some things.

1. He knew the placement of every object in the diaper bag.
2. He knew things about the baby that only the parents would know.
3. The way that he looked and interacted with him, I wanted to scream and say: "Mr. Right. You are the Father"

So, almost six months later, he is still adamant that this child does not belong to him. The jury, however, is still out on that. #Kanyeshrug

JOKES ON ME

In honor of my birthday my “friend” whom I’ve been seeing for several months bought me tickets to go see a very popular comedian on a Friday night. The evening started off well enough with me going to his place after work to change and eat dinner. After our usual dinner, laughs, and drinks we drove to the comedy show in DC. Of course as black folks we were late, but what we saw of the show was good. After the performance, we stopped for some really good food in the city and then proceeded to the club to get our dance on! He loves to laugh and dance, I love to laugh and dance, so this was the beginning of a fun evening.

As soon as we enter the club I feel a wave of heat hit me in my face. We start making our way through each floor which is beyond filled to capacity and feeling like a straight up zoo. I hadn’t been to this club in a looong time so I had to get my bearings. As we reached the second floor we run into his crew who I will call “Tha Boyz”. Tha Boyz are his family, h his homies, his everything. Him and the “Tha Boyz” literally go to this particular club every week so this is their spot! Ironically I used to be a regular in this place a few years back myself, but now realize why I stopped going. As we say our greetings to everyone, my wonderful date asks me if he can have fifteen minutes with “Tha Boyz”? Me being the “go with the flow cool chick” that I am just kind of said Okay No Problem, not really thinking about the ridiculousness of his request. So I took my I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T self, and proceeded through the club to see who I knew in the crowd. Lo and behold, I see someone I met in Miami over the summer that I had not seen since.
Mr. Miami invites me into his section and we’re laughing and joking and dancing. As we’re kicking it I feel ice grills on my front and back from some of the other women there. I’m looking at him like “Okay what’s going on here?” He’s like “Oh these are my co-workers and they’re hating blah blah blah.” The dude is a pretty attractive guy so I can see other women hating, BUUT I pay them no mind and we continue dancing and laughing. Well I guess the girl who was a bold hater had to size me up ,up close and personal, so she comes up to me and says, “Hi, how do you know my brother?” At this point I’m saying to myself, “ This girl can’t be serious!: But I smile politely and respond, “Oh we go waaaay back, “and continue dancing. She then goes” Oh ,well what’s your name?” Again I smile politely and say “Hi my name is Amber,” Of course I am lying about my real name because after all who is this Beesh and why is she all up in my business!! She proceeds to tell me her name, which is ironically, MY REAL NAME! Whew so glad I lied. Smh. At this point I’m like okay enough time has passed, where is my date , this place is crazy! I am started to get slightly ticked off for even leaving him so he could hang with the boys that he lives with and sees every single night of the week, while I’m left alone in this jungle called a club.

So as I make my way therough the crowd looking for him I see THA BOYZ on the bar. My date is nowhere in sight so I ask his best friend where his boy is. He points to the dance floor but I don’t see him in the crowd. I just chill with them for a few on the bar. When they move I move with them so I don’t get lost in the maze, and we go downstairs. Tha Boyz lead me straight to the middle of the dance floor where my date is dancing with another girl. SMH at this point. While I have every right to be mad, I’m not.PAUSE ( For the record I look good! Every hair is in place, lipgloss poppin, four inch stilettos, somebody cue Fabulous’ You Be Killen Em) So I’m just kind of looking at them like Really? Maybe it was because the girl was nappy headed and had nothing on me as far as I was concerned, so no real cause to be alarmed. It was more pitiful than anything. Or maybe it was because I knew his dancing machine hyper ass was shaking his tail somewhere all along. So I stand there till my date looks up and sees us, at which point he dismisses ol girl.

I had one of two options…catch a nasty attitude and leave the club we just got to even though I wanted to party, or just be like fugg it , deal with his trifling ass later, and have a good time. I chose fugg it and have a good time, but at the end of the day I still had to ask myself…Where do they do this at???? What man takes an attractive fun woman that he's been dating for months on a date and leaves her so he can do his OWN thing?