SUPER FREAK

Dear Diary,

I’ve been in law enforcement for several years now and have seen it all. On a warm spring day I responded to a call for law personnel to come investigate a robbery where over 7k in jewels was stolen from someone’s home. When I arrived to the condo I found an attractive young lady crying that all of her jewelry has been stolen and her mother was going to kill her. I proceeded to gather all of the evidence from the scene and offer what comfort I could to the young lady.  After we talked some more, she revealed to me that she was supposed to go to a wedding dinner but needed a ride because her car was in the shop. Me being nice offered to give her a ride. As she got out of my car she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me to call her. I was a shocked , like call her for what?? So as the night progressed I said well she was pretty, so let me call her. I got off work at 11:00pm  and was back at her house by midnight.

 As soon as I walked in the door she grabbed me and pulled out my ***** and started going to work!! At the end of the night she told me she was off that whole week from work and wanted to spend time with me. Of course I quickly agreed since the previous night was a happy ending!  As the week went on I found myself liking her but wanted to get to know her a little better personally, past the physical level.  I expressed this desire to her but she wasn't having it! Every time I laid in her bed she wanted some action!  Here I was trying to be a gentlemen and RESPECT her by slowing the physical down and she wouldn't hear of it! I was starting to get confused!

I eventually told her that I was not giving her any unless the next time I arrived dinner was on the table. It was to the point where literally all we did was get it in! No eating no drinking..NOTHING!She then proceeded to tell me that No we were just F buddies and cooking and all that was too intimate.  I said okay then I'm good I won't see you again. She instantly had a change of heart and agreed to cook the next time I came by.

One morning after she had went to work  on me for so long and I was damn near numb, I said, "Baby I want us to enjoy each other without having sex all the time" I know this was weird coming from a dude, but I'm at the point where I appreciate other things in a woman and want to see what else makes her tick besides what's in between her legs. She said she wanted to get "some" before her trip out of town, I said," No", pushed her off of my member and rolled over and went to sleep. The next morning after she left, she texted me that I deprived her of sex. I said , " You should be happy I want to be with you without sex" . She then replied that I should be happy that she finds me very sexy and craves my ***.  I told her ,"Look if I cannot satisfy your needs then she has my blessing to go find someone else who can. " She then got upset and replied, " Do I want a sex slave attorney or are we done? "  I replied "DONE and deleted her from my life.


WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE???
 

SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Dear Diary,

In an attempt to open my "dating pool" I took the advice of two of my girlfriends who suggested I try online dating. For my preferences I chose to date black men and non-black men. I'm an over-achiever so I figured I could handle the dual first starts!With a brave heart I created my online profile and was surprised at the many hits (yes! ego boost!), but I found myself only responding to the 35+ PHd guys. Sad to say, they all  turned out to be a bust. Although mentality stimulating, they were too self- centered to be any fun. I decided to change my focus back to men that were closer to my age. I gave a 29 year old military Sergeant a try. I figured he was in the military so that would mean a solid career and stability. We exchanged emails and finally exchanged phone numbers. We talked on the phone and the conversation was cool, nothing clicked and sparked, but just okay conversation. Although I was not really "feeling him" I decided to go on a date because he was very insistent. Our schedules clashed so much until I finally agreed to drive to VA because he had work very early Sunday morning.

The entire drive over he kept calling me trying to figure out exactly where I was. He was super annoyed that I didn't come right after he got off from work at 12:30. Yeah right!? He insisted I come up to his apartment before we went out, which should have triggered something in me, but I went on up anyway SMH. We  argued about him wanting me to give my phone to post person ( he lives in a gated community). We then argued about where I should park, he was looking at me through his window and was directing me like a creepy stalker.  After I finally parked and walked up to his door I wanted the night to be over already. I knocked on the door, he opens and yells "Welcome to where rich white boys live!". I gave him the WTF look and shook my head. My body language made him realize his stupidity.

He proceeded to try to impress me more by insisting we eat at some exotic restaurant." Lets do Indian, Thai or Ethiopian," he said. I was like what ever you pick is fine let's just go! SO we do Thai. We go to his car and he yells "Look at that car, rich white boy car!". Again, I gave him the WTF look. We get in the car and he turns on T-pain, Lil Wayne, and other rap artists I don't know. Although it was bad enough he was blasting the music to the high heavens, he decided to rap along. I wanted to jump out of the car at that point. We finally get to the restaurant and get to our table. We are in a Thai restaurant and he started making racist comments about the servers. I had to remind him that mess is not funny! So after that he behaved. He asked to skip the movie because was getting tired, which I saw in his face, so I said cool I will go home. He said no, please come to my apartment and we will chat for a few minutes and watch TV. So we go up to his apartment, I sit on the couch and he went to the bedroom.

 

I assumed he went for a movie or whatever. Boy was I wrong! This fool comes around the corner wearing only BOXERS! I said, " What the FUCK are you doing?" He responds "Come in the bed with me and rub my shoulders and back". I said " You done lost your mind. You're five cards short of a full deck! Who gets nude on a first date?!" He said "You are so stuck up! You wanted to come to my apartment. You just playing games with my mind. I'm tired of you doing this to me!" I said "Me?, Homie I just met you!"  He then started to yell like a five year old and carry on about how I just wanted to use him. I grabbed my bag and ran out of there!!!

 

Talk about crazy ass people! The online dating sites will never have to worry about seeing my profile again!

OFFICE PLACE ROMANCE - SHOULD YOU OR SHOULDN'T YOU??

Let’s face it; most of us spend the majority of our free time during the week at work! Work is the place where you not only give your all for that paycheck, but also a place where you mix and mingle with people and personalities that you otherwise may not have gotten the chance to mix and mingle with. These people oftentimes include members of the opposite sex!  If you’re like me, you have never been fortunate enough to work with any eye candy that could tempt you, but for everyone else in the work world that is not always the case!

When faced with that single cutie in the cubicle next to you, what do you do? After all, this is a person that you see every day, have probably gone to lunch with at some point, maybe even attended after work happy hours/functions with,  so you really have a sense of what they’re like when they are off the clock and have possibly even developed a genuine friendship with this person. When the attraction is mutual, do you cross the “work friend” line or not?

The sensible side of me says run, reconsider, do some livin! There are just too many scenarios that can go wrong. There is a serious case of the WHAT IF’s when dealing with work boos. WHAT IF, you all start dating and things don’t work out and you have to see them everyday even though you can no longer stand the sight of their face? WHAT IF, they turn out to be crazy and bring drama to your workplace? WHAT IF your co-worker’s are constantly in your business, adding unnecessary drama? These are just some of the factors one has to consider when deciding if they want to take things to the next level with a co-worker.  However, on the flip side, WHAT IF the converse is true?

WHAT IF you meet the love of your life at work and that person is just really sweet to you and drama free? WHAT IF you work on different floors and only have to see each other when you want to, or meet up for lunch when you want to? WHAT IF you are friends with this person platonically for a year or more and something else beautiful just naturally develops? I have had the pleasure of working with couples who met at work and are happily married, so anything is possible! My advice to anyone contemplating entering a work romance is to proceed with caution as with any budding relationship, and to weigh the pros and cons. If things don’t work out, are you going to be able to still function at work at optimal performance without this person serving as an unnecessary distraction? Only YOU can decide!

 

What do you think DMV? Would you romantically entertain one of your co-workers?

Single in the City! Why are so many DC women Still Single!

I was  talking with one of my girlfriends the other day, and the topic of  men came up, as it always inevitably does, and I realized that not a single one of the my closest girlfriends has a man. It saddened me, not only because I would love to go on some double dates with my girls, but because all of the women in my circle attractive, educated, fun, and just really really nice and good women. Like the kind of women that any sane man should be proud to “claim” as his own.  Now I could see if my girls were the “exceptions “to the rule, especially since every friend thinks her friend is the greatest, however, in my travels around DC in different social circles, it appears as though an overwhelmingly large amount of women in this town are definitely single,Sex in the City style. This newfound revelation got me to thinking, why are sooo many attractive, educated, seemingly nice women by most standards, so single in a town that has some of the most progressive, eligible bachelors this country has to offer? After some personal observation I came up with my list of the Top Five Reasons why a woman could be single in Chocolate City.

1.    Numbers Game –Let’s face it….women that are pretty, smart, and even “exotic” come a dime a dozen in this town. Men that are equally attractive- or even not so attractive but think they are, that have status and money, don’t have to rush to choose just one woman, when the amount of thirst  attractive and smart women display, allows them to keep their options open. 

 

2.    Why Buy the Cow when You can Get the Milk for Free – I realized that all of my girls, even me , have been giving an overwhelming majority of the male interests in our lives, free access to our lives, bodies, minds, and sometimes even souls, virtually for free. I hate to sound like Steve Harvey but we really have not required the man of our desires to want or have to commit to us because we give him everything willingly without commitment. Like most people who are given free gifts, the recipient will just take take without giving anything in return.

 

3.    Unrealistic Expectations - We all pretty much want the man who over six feet tall is making a decent living for himself, when perhaps the brotha who is a hard worker but only 5’10’’ is getting overlooked.  Ironically, no one in my close circle of friends has a list that’s ten feet tall or has dated a man that looks like ( insert man of your dreams here) , however, maybe they do have some quirky expectation that is just unrealistic in this day and age that coincides with a true man of character.  After all, most of the married women that I do know, are not married to their typical “type” but to just a good man.

4.    Shallowness – Yes I said it and I mean on the part of a lot of eligible bachelors in the DMV. Perhaps the male gaze is not going to women that don’t fit their unique box of what is of interest to them aesthetically, so if you don’t fall in that box, whatever it is, you will get overlooked. This translates to it’s their (men’s ) problem not yours!

 

5.    Timing - At the end of the day, no matter what you want personally as a woman, if a man is not ready to settle down in either a relationship or marriage, he just won’t. There is nothing you can do or not do if that is not what he wants or where his head is. The common theme among those I  know who are coupled up, is that their dude was just ready to be with one person for whatever reason, and the stars and moons aligned at the right time and in the right place for them to be together.

 

        So DMV, What do you think? Why are so many women in DC single??