WHEN IS TOO SOON TO ALLOW A WOMAN TO PAY FOR A DATE????

Dear Diary,

I met Alana at an Election Night Watch Party and we seemed to hit it off pretty quickly. She was cute and funny and seemed intelligent. We exchanged numbers and quickly arranged a date the following weekend.  That Saturday we met at Clyde’s downtown DC and had a really good time. She was pleasant and the conversation flowed.  After our great evening, we arranged for a second date. She wanted to see a movie at the IMAX Theater in Columbia, MD which I agreed to. When we arrived at the theater we both realized that we had the wrong movie time and were two hours early. I purchased the tickets and told her we could find something else to do while we waited for the movie. She said since I was nice enough to buy the tickets she would treat me to dinner before the movie. I said okay and we grabbed a bite to eat. After we ate we went inside the theater. While in the theater, she grabbed my hand to hold it and started to kind of rub my arm. I was thinking, Okay I guess she feelin me and went along with it. When we left the theater she offered to drive me to her car and I thanked her and hopped in with her. When she pulled up to my car I leaned in to give her a kiss good-night since she was feeling me in the movie and we had chemistry. All we did was kiss, and I got out of the car and said good-bye.

The following day was Thanksgiving and Alana was leaving town but she said she would keep in touch over the break which she did. Upon her return, I sent her a text asking when she would be available to hang again and she did not respond. I thought that was weird since she responded any other time and sent her a few more texts with no response until finally she wrote back, “I am not interested in seeing you anymore.” Confused I responded, “Huh what are you talking about? “to which she replied, “ You allowed me to pay for dinner on our second date which was rude in my opinion and then you kissed me in the car after,” .  After a few more back and forth texts I concluded that this chick was crazy and deleted her out of my phone.

 

Question: Was I wrong for allowing her to pay for our meal SINCE SHE OFFERED on our second date????? Also, when is too soon to kiss someone?

CHIVALRY ISN'T DEAD.. IT JUST WENT TO THE SAME PLACE BEING LADYLIKE WENT!

Recently I’ve been seeing the phrase , “ Chivalry isn’t dead- it just went to the same place being ladylike went”. After I saw this statement  the first time I said, Hmm yea yea that sounds right – where are all of the"Ladies"? Do women even know how to be "Ladies" anymore or know how a lady is "supposed" to act? Seems like society has been glorifying the “ratchet” and the “fake” for so long, some of us woudn’t know a lady if she smacked us in the face! However, after pondering the quote some more I thought, “ Why does a woman have to “act” a certain way for a man to just treat her with the basic respect any human being deserves?” What happened to a man just honoring her “womanhood” without knowing anything about her at all? What happened to the men who just were taught to have manners and be chivalrous in the company of all women no matter what she looked like or acted like. It seems as though society is doing a pretty good job of emasculating men.

Emasculating in the sense of a man’s actions are contingent on what a woman is doing or not doing. Why don’t you just do what is right regardless? Even if a woman has not discovered her self- worth and is engaging in less than lady like behavior, is it really necessary to further debase her just because she “allows” it?  That logic is like saying it’s okay to abuse animals or children because they allow us to. NO, it’s not okay. At some point men need to get a moral code and just stick to it no matter what – the same way they stick to the G code, the Guy Code and whatever else. Women are deserving of respect, not because they act or look a certain way, but because we are the Givers of Life , therefore, take our GIFT seriously and treat us as such.

Link to Dating Diaries on TalkofDC.com!

http://talkofdc.com/dating-vixen.html

SUPER FREAK

Dear Diary,

I’ve been in law enforcement for several years now and have seen it all. On a warm spring day I responded to a call for law personnel to come investigate a robbery where over 7k in jewels was stolen from someone’s home. When I arrived to the condo I found an attractive young lady crying that all of her jewelry has been stolen and her mother was going to kill her. I proceeded to gather all of the evidence from the scene and offer what comfort I could to the young lady.  After we talked some more, she revealed to me that she was supposed to go to a wedding dinner but needed a ride because her car was in the shop. Me being nice offered to give her a ride. As she got out of my car she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me to call her. I was a shocked , like call her for what?? So as the night progressed I said well she was pretty, so let me call her. I got off work at 11:00pm  and was back at her house by midnight.

 As soon as I walked in the door she grabbed me and pulled out my ***** and started going to work!! At the end of the night she told me she was off that whole week from work and wanted to spend time with me. Of course I quickly agreed since the previous night was a happy ending!  As the week went on I found myself liking her but wanted to get to know her a little better personally, past the physical level.  I expressed this desire to her but she wasn't having it! Every time I laid in her bed she wanted some action!  Here I was trying to be a gentlemen and RESPECT her by slowing the physical down and she wouldn't hear of it! I was starting to get confused!

I eventually told her that I was not giving her any unless the next time I arrived dinner was on the table. It was to the point where literally all we did was get it in! No eating no drinking..NOTHING!She then proceeded to tell me that No we were just F buddies and cooking and all that was too intimate.  I said okay then I'm good I won't see you again. She instantly had a change of heart and agreed to cook the next time I came by.

One morning after she had went to work  on me for so long and I was damn near numb, I said, "Baby I want us to enjoy each other without having sex all the time" I know this was weird coming from a dude, but I'm at the point where I appreciate other things in a woman and want to see what else makes her tick besides what's in between her legs. She said she wanted to get "some" before her trip out of town, I said," No", pushed her off of my member and rolled over and went to sleep. The next morning after she left, she texted me that I deprived her of sex. I said , " You should be happy I want to be with you without sex" . She then replied that I should be happy that she finds me very sexy and craves my ***.  I told her ,"Look if I cannot satisfy your needs then she has my blessing to go find someone else who can. " She then got upset and replied, " Do I want a sex slave attorney or are we done? "  I replied "DONE and deleted her from my life.


WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE???
 

SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Dear Diary,

In an attempt to open my "dating pool" I took the advice of two of my girlfriends who suggested I try online dating. For my preferences I chose to date black men and non-black men. I'm an over-achiever so I figured I could handle the dual first starts!With a brave heart I created my online profile and was surprised at the many hits (yes! ego boost!), but I found myself only responding to the 35+ PHd guys. Sad to say, they all  turned out to be a bust. Although mentality stimulating, they were too self- centered to be any fun. I decided to change my focus back to men that were closer to my age. I gave a 29 year old military Sergeant a try. I figured he was in the military so that would mean a solid career and stability. We exchanged emails and finally exchanged phone numbers. We talked on the phone and the conversation was cool, nothing clicked and sparked, but just okay conversation. Although I was not really "feeling him" I decided to go on a date because he was very insistent. Our schedules clashed so much until I finally agreed to drive to VA because he had work very early Sunday morning.

The entire drive over he kept calling me trying to figure out exactly where I was. He was super annoyed that I didn't come right after he got off from work at 12:30. Yeah right!? He insisted I come up to his apartment before we went out, which should have triggered something in me, but I went on up anyway SMH. We  argued about him wanting me to give my phone to post person ( he lives in a gated community). We then argued about where I should park, he was looking at me through his window and was directing me like a creepy stalker.  After I finally parked and walked up to his door I wanted the night to be over already. I knocked on the door, he opens and yells "Welcome to where rich white boys live!". I gave him the WTF look and shook my head. My body language made him realize his stupidity.

He proceeded to try to impress me more by insisting we eat at some exotic restaurant." Lets do Indian, Thai or Ethiopian," he said. I was like what ever you pick is fine let's just go! SO we do Thai. We go to his car and he yells "Look at that car, rich white boy car!". Again, I gave him the WTF look. We get in the car and he turns on T-pain, Lil Wayne, and other rap artists I don't know. Although it was bad enough he was blasting the music to the high heavens, he decided to rap along. I wanted to jump out of the car at that point. We finally get to the restaurant and get to our table. We are in a Thai restaurant and he started making racist comments about the servers. I had to remind him that mess is not funny! So after that he behaved. He asked to skip the movie because was getting tired, which I saw in his face, so I said cool I will go home. He said no, please come to my apartment and we will chat for a few minutes and watch TV. So we go up to his apartment, I sit on the couch and he went to the bedroom.

 

I assumed he went for a movie or whatever. Boy was I wrong! This fool comes around the corner wearing only BOXERS! I said, " What the FUCK are you doing?" He responds "Come in the bed with me and rub my shoulders and back". I said " You done lost your mind. You're five cards short of a full deck! Who gets nude on a first date?!" He said "You are so stuck up! You wanted to come to my apartment. You just playing games with my mind. I'm tired of you doing this to me!" I said "Me?, Homie I just met you!"  He then started to yell like a five year old and carry on about how I just wanted to use him. I grabbed my bag and ran out of there!!!

 

Talk about crazy ass people! The online dating sites will never have to worry about seeing my profile again!

OFFICE PLACE ROMANCE - SHOULD YOU OR SHOULDN'T YOU??

Let’s face it; most of us spend the majority of our free time during the week at work! Work is the place where you not only give your all for that paycheck, but also a place where you mix and mingle with people and personalities that you otherwise may not have gotten the chance to mix and mingle with. These people oftentimes include members of the opposite sex!  If you’re like me, you have never been fortunate enough to work with any eye candy that could tempt you, but for everyone else in the work world that is not always the case!

When faced with that single cutie in the cubicle next to you, what do you do? After all, this is a person that you see every day, have probably gone to lunch with at some point, maybe even attended after work happy hours/functions with,  so you really have a sense of what they’re like when they are off the clock and have possibly even developed a genuine friendship with this person. When the attraction is mutual, do you cross the “work friend” line or not?

The sensible side of me says run, reconsider, do some livin! There are just too many scenarios that can go wrong. There is a serious case of the WHAT IF’s when dealing with work boos. WHAT IF, you all start dating and things don’t work out and you have to see them everyday even though you can no longer stand the sight of their face? WHAT IF, they turn out to be crazy and bring drama to your workplace? WHAT IF your co-worker’s are constantly in your business, adding unnecessary drama? These are just some of the factors one has to consider when deciding if they want to take things to the next level with a co-worker.  However, on the flip side, WHAT IF the converse is true?

WHAT IF you meet the love of your life at work and that person is just really sweet to you and drama free? WHAT IF you work on different floors and only have to see each other when you want to, or meet up for lunch when you want to? WHAT IF you are friends with this person platonically for a year or more and something else beautiful just naturally develops? I have had the pleasure of working with couples who met at work and are happily married, so anything is possible! My advice to anyone contemplating entering a work romance is to proceed with caution as with any budding relationship, and to weigh the pros and cons. If things don’t work out, are you going to be able to still function at work at optimal performance without this person serving as an unnecessary distraction? Only YOU can decide!

 

What do you think DMV? Would you romantically entertain one of your co-workers?

Single in the City! Why are so many DC women Still Single!

I was  talking with one of my girlfriends the other day, and the topic of  men came up, as it always inevitably does, and I realized that not a single one of the my closest girlfriends has a man. It saddened me, not only because I would love to go on some double dates with my girls, but because all of the women in my circle attractive, educated, fun, and just really really nice and good women. Like the kind of women that any sane man should be proud to “claim” as his own.  Now I could see if my girls were the “exceptions “to the rule, especially since every friend thinks her friend is the greatest, however, in my travels around DC in different social circles, it appears as though an overwhelmingly large amount of women in this town are definitely single,Sex in the City style. This newfound revelation got me to thinking, why are sooo many attractive, educated, seemingly nice women by most standards, so single in a town that has some of the most progressive, eligible bachelors this country has to offer? After some personal observation I came up with my list of the Top Five Reasons why a woman could be single in Chocolate City.

1.    Numbers Game –Let’s face it….women that are pretty, smart, and even “exotic” come a dime a dozen in this town. Men that are equally attractive- or even not so attractive but think they are, that have status and money, don’t have to rush to choose just one woman, when the amount of thirst  attractive and smart women display, allows them to keep their options open. 

 

2.    Why Buy the Cow when You can Get the Milk for Free – I realized that all of my girls, even me , have been giving an overwhelming majority of the male interests in our lives, free access to our lives, bodies, minds, and sometimes even souls, virtually for free. I hate to sound like Steve Harvey but we really have not required the man of our desires to want or have to commit to us because we give him everything willingly without commitment. Like most people who are given free gifts, the recipient will just take take without giving anything in return.

 

3.    Unrealistic Expectations - We all pretty much want the man who over six feet tall is making a decent living for himself, when perhaps the brotha who is a hard worker but only 5’10’’ is getting overlooked.  Ironically, no one in my close circle of friends has a list that’s ten feet tall or has dated a man that looks like ( insert man of your dreams here) , however, maybe they do have some quirky expectation that is just unrealistic in this day and age that coincides with a true man of character.  After all, most of the married women that I do know, are not married to their typical “type” but to just a good man.

4.    Shallowness – Yes I said it and I mean on the part of a lot of eligible bachelors in the DMV. Perhaps the male gaze is not going to women that don’t fit their unique box of what is of interest to them aesthetically, so if you don’t fall in that box, whatever it is, you will get overlooked. This translates to it’s their (men’s ) problem not yours!

 

5.    Timing - At the end of the day, no matter what you want personally as a woman, if a man is not ready to settle down in either a relationship or marriage, he just won’t. There is nothing you can do or not do if that is not what he wants or where his head is. The common theme among those I  know who are coupled up, is that their dude was just ready to be with one person for whatever reason, and the stars and moons aligned at the right time and in the right place for them to be together.

 

        So DMV, What do you think? Why are so many women in DC single??

50 SHADES OF CRAZY!!

Dear Diary,

I met Martin maybe a month ago, can't even remember where now, and after our first conversation he told me that he was 28 years old and had recently quit his well paying government job to pursue his MBA full time at Howard University. I'm all for going against the grain when it comes to pursuing your dreams so I didn't think anything of it. However, I did think something of it when he told me he was Muslim. I have an open mind and welcome and love people of all religions, however, I wasn't sure how to mesh his beliefs with my Christian beliefs, but perhaps I was getting ahead of myself with these thoughts!

For our first date we agreed to meet in Gallery Place near my house for a movie first, then dinner. As we walked into the theater, he wanted to hold my hand which I thought was weird because I didn't even know this guy like that! I politely slipped my hand out of his as we walked to our seats. Once seated 'ol guy became an Octopus. I mean hands were everywhere! Even tried to cop a feel between my legs. At this point I was outraged! I slapped his hands and told him if he wanted fingers and not stubs he would get his hands off of me! I was so turned off that I feigned a headache after the movie in order to ditch dinner and just went home.

Fast forward two weeks from that incident. I was minding my business in the house - scrolling Facebook and watching TV , when my phone rang from an unsaved number and when I picked up I immediately wished I hadn't. It was HIM. I explained to him that I was watching Glee and would call him back on a commercial break. He then said that he wanted to stop by and visit me since he was in my neighborhood. I told him that was okay and that I was not up for company that night.

 

As he was talking I went to his FB page and noticed that his profile pic was of him and some girl, so I asked him about it... he says he has no clue what I'm talking about and that his profile pic is of him in a white tie. So after denying it, he goes on the tell me that he doesn't think that I'm interested in dating. Then tells me to have a nice life. I explained to him that I owed him NOTHING and it was impossible to break things off with someone if there was nothing there. He said he knew that. So I said goodbye and hung the hell up.

I then go back to his FB page after we hung up and he posted "I'm done... Deuces". REALLY!!!  Nothing worse than a grown man running  to post their feelings on FB about their business they don't have!!! Then I noticed that it said that he changed his profile pic 8 mins after we got off the phone!! SMH. 

 

DID I MISS SOMETHING?

Dear Diary,

On Saturday night I went to a rooftop party with my old church. I was seated next to a very handsome guy. Oh, he's  a cutie, I thought to myself as I sat down. I was glad I looked kinda cute that night! I decided to wait a few minutes to see if he was going to initiate convo, if he didn't, I would take matters into my own hands. After sitting there next to him quietly for about three minutes,  I "mistakenly" dropped some lip balm out of my purse and of course it just so happened to land near his feet. "Excuse me,"  I said as I leaned down to pick up my lip balm and he of course said, "No problem," and began a conversation. We chatted all night.
We talked about everything from Martin, to Kevin Hart, to TNT. When the music came on we  danced together, made jokes, and really just enjoyed each other in that moment. After we finished dancing we sat back down and I asked him the time. He pulled out his phone and told me that it was 10:40pm. I said ," Oh okay, it's only 20 minutes left because it ends at 11." He looks at me and yells "This is foolish" and I said"Huh". He then said  said , "This is foolish", got up, and walked off , never to return again!!

Wth, Did I miss something????

WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED?????

WEEKEND DATE NIGHT!

For those of you who are tired of the usual, a great date night locale is PING PONG located on Connecticut Avenue in Washington, DC . It's a very casual affair with pizza and ping pong tables! They do not take reservations , so just arrive early enough to ensure that you and your date get a table!

http://www.cometpingpong.com/

Enjoy!

Thank you for all of your great date idea submissions. Please continue to send them to datingvixen@gmail.com so yours can be featured at the end of each week!

ALIAS!

Dear Diary,

I met Ron a.k.a Patrick on a dating website. Most people shake their head when you mention online dating, but, I have to admit, I've met great prospects online. Some I’d dare to say are some of "D.C.’s most Eligible Bachelors". But I digress. The night that “Ron” and I had our initial conversation on the phone, it went well. He was funny and had intelligent,thought-provoking things to say. I was intrigued. I was excited to meet him,but my excitement was soon cut short when he told me that he was traveling toAustin, Texas for SXSW. He explained that he was an A&R for Def Jam, and he was traveling there for a week to look for talent. He said that he lived inBaltimore, but worked in NYC. That was the first indication that something waswrong. 

Each night that he was away, we spoke via phone and soon ourconversations went to Skype. We would chat for hours. It was weird, I felt myself falling for a guy I had never met. I had to check my emotions immediately. I’m not some homebody chick with low self-esteem. I’m a pretty decent looking girl, with a great career and a very active social life in the District.I was not lacking in the dating department. I knew better than this. When something seems too good to be true, well you know the rest.

The day before “Ron” returned from SXSW, he explained that he got a call from his manager, No I.D., who is a hip-hop and R&Bproducer, and VP of Def Jam Records. He claimed that his manager told him that he was getting a promotion and that he needed to fly back to NYC first thing the next morning. He called me immediately to tell me the news. While I was reluctant,I still shared my excitement with him. We talked about his dreams and goals allnight until his flight left for NYC.

After his meeting, he called to tell me that he was promotedand received a 300% increase, and would be responsible for managing a staff of 6. I was excited, but at the same time, my intuition was telling me that somethingwas wrong with this story. First, in this economy, I don’t know many people who get those kinds of raises, especially in the music business.  After we got off the phone, I called one of myvfriends who used to work in the marketing department for Def Jam to see if she knew him, or if she could provide some feedback on this situation. She told me that it was possible, but she doubted it.

While she and I were on the phone, “Ron” sent me an email with a picture attached. The picture was of him, Russell Simmons and Nas at some event in NYC. The subject said “Wish you were here”.  While reviewing the content of the email, I noticed that it said it was from Patrick Lawson. I said who the eff is Patrick Lawson? I Googled the name and the email address and it was linked to a Twitteraccount. The description read “P. Lawson. Producer, A&R, Music Lover,Husband, Father and Baltimorean for life”. So basically this MF'er lied about his name, lied about his single status annnnnd didn't even work in NYC nor was a VP of Def Jam...smh.

That was all I needed to know. No need to ask any questions.I never answered any of his text messages or phone calls again.

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?

WOULD YOU HAVE CONFRONTED HIM ABOUT HIS LIES?????

GREAT DATE IDEAS!!

Here at Dating Diaries we want to promote healthy and happy relationships that thrive . In order to get to that point, you must first "Get to Know" your prospective date. Each week we are going to ask you to email me a great date idea at datingvixen@gmail.com to be featured at the end of the week!

JAILBATE!!

I met David outside of my office building one afternoon as I was walking to my car in the parking lot. He was tall, dark, and handsome and had a smile that lit up the already bright parking lot! We exchanged telephone numbers and went on about our day. The next day David called and we had a brief, but funny, conversation. He asked if I was available Friday evening for dinner and I said yes. That Friday he picked me up at my house and we drove to the Cheesecake Factory and had dinner. David was dressed nicely and we ordered heartily from the drink, appetizer, and dinner menu. At this point, I was feeling him, he was down to earth, and funny, two qualities that are sometimes hard to come by these days! By the end of dinner I was certain we would go out again!

 When we both finished eating our dessert the waiter placed the bill on the table. David smiled at me and in a very calm, non-chalant voice said, “Oh no, I don’t have my wallet.” “Excuse me?” I said as I looked at our hundred dollar bill. “I’m sorry sweetie but I don’t have my wallet,” he said again withOUT remorse. “Oh ok, that’s too bad but I will just pay my portion of the bill then,” I replied. All sorts of things were racing through my head, like is this man serious, and does he really think he can pull this type of move on me and expect to get away with it??? The fact that he remained so calm when he said it and didn’t offer any apologies or seem embarrassed let me know this was a game he was running and he thought I was about to fall for it.

When the waiter came back I immediately explained the situation and told him that I would pay my portion of the bill but that was it. David remained calm and tried to tell the waiter that he did not have any money whatsoever to pay the remainder of the bill so therefore he would not be paying. The waiter  got his manager who walked over to the table to see what was going on. As the situation escalated I decided right then and there that I would call a friend of mine to come pick me up. I told David that I had to use the restroom and politely excused myself to the bathroom to call my friend. In that instance I knew I was not returning to the table to get caught up in that nonsense. As I made my way back to the front of the restaurant to wait for my friend, I saw two police officers heading towards the table where David was sitting and next  thing I know they begin putting him in handcuffs. I shook my head in disbelief, I couldn’t believe it, I had gone on my first and last date with JAILBAIT!

THAT'S JUST NOT NATURAL!!

I met this dude right after I finished dating my friend from Canada who I should have left in Canada because he was a MESS, but anyhoo, my girl actually saw THIS guy first. I wasn't paying much attention to the guys in the spot we went to that night, in all honestly I just wanted to hang out and be single again that night....so to make a long story short, this dude's friend comes over and starts chatting us up and the guy that my girl wanted, was actually digging me. He was a little big for my liking, I'm 5'2 about 140 lbs, and he towered over me at about 6'2 225. When I first saw him my first thoughts were he's too muscular, but I went with it anyway. I find out that the guy's name is Will so we get to chatting and I like his convo, so we exchange numbers. He called me the next day and we set up a time to grab a coffee and chat that following Sunday. After talking with him over the phone that night I learned that his stats were that he's single, Nigerian, 39, an engineer at NASA with a 6 year son, and a retired pro soccer athlete. My first impression was Wow this guy seems attractive and smart. As time progressed we continued to date and get to know one another. Eventually he started asking for a serious monogamous relationship. Of course since I just ended a situation, I'm thinking, it's too soon girl, but thinking he's a good catch, I say to myself, I'm going to try him anyway.

BIG MISTAKE.

Our next official date was as a "couple." I like reggae and he likes reggae so we decided to go to Crossroads. I showed up alone and he's already there with the fellas at the outside bar. I come up and he kisses me on the cheek, stays to talk for a bit with me and then walks away leaving me to talk to his best friend. Not thinking much of it, I continue with the convo.  The night progresses and it's getting chilly, so we move to the inside. We are dancing, sippin, having a good time; he tells me that he has to go to the bathroom and  I say ok. As his best friend proceeds to chatting me up, something were telling me to look to my left. Not only did I look to the left to see that Will was not at the bathroom, but I also saw that was talking to another woman. My immediate response was not to react, don't trip, and assess the body language of both of them because after all they could be friends, right? As his best friend continues to try to get my attention, I can see my then “Boyfriend” whispering in this woman's ear. Ok this isn't looking right...this man stayed over in that girl's ear chatting for at least 15 more minutes. Hmm ok, I'm starting to get mad so I focus on something else, cause I'm not one to make public scenes and this Hennessey in my system is not about to make me cause one, even though if it did it wouldn't be nothin nice! So he finally comes back over to us and now he wants to be lovey dovey, huggey kissey on me. My body language showed that I wasn't having it. He then gestures for us to go back outside to the bar and proceeds to ask me what my problem is. Playing it cool, I said nothing, because I know how a situation like this would play out: he would try to reason off his actions and make me look like the jealous girlfriend. So we drop it, but then his phone rings, this man - .my bf, moves from me at the bar to the opposite side of the bar to finish this convo. Why is he doing this? Again, I'm just observing but I'm starting to add things up in my head. Again, I say nothing and we proceed back inside. I try to forget what happened earlier and have a good time but by then he decides he's ready to go. I say ok.

 We get inside my truck where this man tries to have sex with me. Now, I can only speak for myself, but I don't mind having sex outside of the bedroom with my significant other but we had never had sex up to that point, so why would I start in the backseat?? I suggested that we go back to his place or mine. You want to know what his response was, “Well that wouldn't be natural, and if it's not gonna be natural I don't want it.” What's not natural about waiting 15 minutes to get to somebody's house, where we can have sex for the FIRST TIME in a bed??? His response kept being it's not natural and now he's just going to go home. At that point, I was mad, I was liquored up, and ready to go off! He then proceeds to tell me he's going to go home since we aren't having sex then gets out of  my car and walks to his.

How does a man expect his girlfriend who he has never slept with to have sex in the back seat of her truck for the first time? Where's the respect in that?! If that's what you mean by natural, you can naturally keep it movin!

Tell us your thoughts! Why was her date being so rude? Or was he being rude?
What would you have done?

THE WEDDING CRASHER

Dear Diary,

At this point in my life, I decided that maybe taking a break from dating wouldn't be a bad idea. I was constantly getting my hopes up with men not worth my time only to leave me with my feelings hurt, frustrated, and disappointed over and over again. I told myself that taking a break from dating would probably be best. It would give me a chance to reflect on who I was, and what I will and will not tolerate in a relationship. I had to stop stressing on what men wanted and focus on what I want and need in my life. It was time to put me first! 

Well, needless to say, all that changed once I went to THE WEDDING. A few weeks ago I attended a wedding of a mutual friend over the weekend. Like all weddings, it was beautiful, and I definitely had a good time. I also met a man named Shawn.Shawn and I locked eyes the moment we saw each other. I was instantly attracted to him and I could tell that the feeling was mutual. During the break after the ceremony, we sat next to each other and got to know one another till it was time for the reception to start. I must say I was intrigued by his demeanor and charm. He asked me if I would join him for a drink after the wedding which I promptly agreed to (since the wedding was cash bar, I know…don’t ask). We went to Red Sky in Laurel, MD for some drinks. The conversation was great. We were getting to know each other. He just turned 30, had a good paying job, rode a motorcycle (sports bike) and had a 3 year old daughter. I really enjoyed his company. I thought to myself maybe this guy could be something special, but in order for me to know that I really needed, I had  to take my time and get to know him. I wanted to do this differently. I didn’t want to rush into another “situation” and get played. We eventually exchanged numbers and kissed towards the end of the evening. I thought to myself, WOW, attractive man, good conversationalist, and a great kisser. Luck must finally be on my side!  He asked me out on an actual date at the end of the night and we decided to meet at Jasper’s in Largo, MD (two days after the wedding) for dinner. From the time we sat down till the time we left, Shawn’s true colors come out.

The man went on a vicious rant on how he felt as though he was not getting a positive vibe from me, how he wanted to make sure I was not taking advantage of him and so on. I was speechless. He also caught an attitude with me because I wouldn’t allow him to touch my breasts, ass or goodies when he wanted to be affectionate with me in the booth that we were sitting in. I told him that touching me in those areas leads to sex and I wasn’t ready to take that step with him just yet. We just met two days ago, cmon man, chill out. He continued to talk about how women have hurt and taken advantage of him in the past. Meanwhile, he told me that he was sexually frustrated and hadn’t had sex since March and gave me a look like I should help him out in that department. The rant went on for hours and he sounded like an emotionally broken and damaged man who was taking out his sexual frustration and anger out on me!

  I started to feel anxious and uncomfortable around him. This was not the kind of date I had in mind. WTF is happening right now?!?! Who is this guy?!?! My first date with a man after a long hiatus and this is the treatment I get?!?!? WHY?!? I couldn’t take it anymore. So, I told him that I was ready to go and he gave me the coldest, evilest look ever. I felt as though he was going to backhand me for insulting him. The waitress puts the check on the table and he looks at me and says “So you got that right?!?” OMG!!! I couldn’t believe those words come out of his mouth. Talk about being shocked. I was like, “No, I am not paying for the check.” Then he went on and on about how “we” women are all the same, blah blah blah while he takes out money and folds his arms with an attitude. We started to have a debate back and forth about the check. I’m thinking, you asked me out, WTF I look like paying for the date. It was getting late, I was tired and my head was starting to hurt so I finally gave in and paid for the bill. In my 29 years on earth, I have NEVER EVER paid for a date. I was so pissed. I felt disgusted and disrespected. We walked out and he walked me to my car and tried to give me a hug and goodnight kiss. I told him that I wasn’t feeling too good and needed to get home ASAP. He was like," Oh okay ,well I hope you feel better and call me when you get in." I got in my car and zoomed home. I had the worst headache at work the next day and this fool had the nerve to call me to see how I was doing and how he wanted to see me again. WTF!!! I told his ass never to call me again and expressed how I felt during our date and that he needed therapy. He felt as though he did nothing wrong and proceeded to tell me how  I was missing out on a “great guy” over something petty. If this man wasn't sick in the head or what. Talk about a date from HELL.


What do you think? What would you have done if you experienced this "Wedding Crasher" from hell!  Would you have paid the bill? Would you have told him off? Tell us your thoughts!

BEAUTY'S ONLY SKIN DEEP!

I met Michelle at a spot on K St. where my boy was celebrating his birthday. We were all chillin in VIP when Michelle walked by and she caught my eye immediately. She was tall, caramel complexion, nice lips, pretty face; I knew I had to holla at her before the night was over. So of course before we left the club I had talked to Michelle and found that not only was she attractive she had a really cool personality. We exchanged numbers and said we would keep in touch. Fast forward a month later, Michelle and I had talked on the phone a few times and met one time for lunch but between her schedule and mine, we were never able to spend real quality time with one another. One night I decided to invite her over to my house to “chill” and see what happened from there. She came by to visit me and we mostly watched movies and had some small talk. She laid her head on my shoulder on the couch and proceeded to run her hands over every inch of my body. At this point I’m feeling good and I know where this night is heading. I lead her into my bedroom at the end of the movie and one thing leads to the other. At about five in the morning I felt her get up out of the bed and say that she was going to get some water from upstairs and then leave, but for me not to worry about it and stay in the bed. I rolled over and said, “No, no I’ll get up,” but next thing I knew, I had dozed back off and didn’t get back up until 30 minutes after she left. I go upstairs to the kitchen and look around in shock! Almost every Tupperware dish I had with food in it that had been in the fridge was sitting empty in my sink. I rubbed my eyes to see if I was seeing things or dreaming, but NO it was rea! This woman had eaten everything she could get her hands on and then left a mess in the kitchen! Needless to say I NEVER saw her again and made sure not to bring dates home who had not eaten BEFORE they got in my house! IF she wanted some food all she had to do was say so!

THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE

Derrick and I met online and after a few convos online and a few dates in person I figured it was time to turn things up a notch! After one of our dates Derrick suggested that I come back to his house for a “nightcap” to which I readily agreed. Our nightcap turned into an “overnight” cap, and the next morning I hopped out of bed to get ready to leave. As I was getting dressed I heard a knock on the front door so I went into the bathroom where Derrick was brushing his teeth to tell him someone was knocking. He was like,” Oh no, it’s okay, I don’t need to answer that. They will go away.” I thought that was a strange response but minded my business and said okay and continued getting dressed.

Just as I was putting on my shoes the knocking turned into loud banging like someone was about to bust down the door! I started to get a little alarmed and said,” Derrick someone is banging your door down, you might want to get that!” He’s still telling me it’s nothing and not to worry about it. At this point I’m hesitant to leave because I don’t know who the hell is banging on the other side of that door! Just as I was about to ask him what he would suggest I do the banging stopped.

Finally, I say to myself.Deciding to give things a few minutes to die down I follow Derrick into the living room to ask him who in the hell is banging like they have lost their mind! As we go to sit down on the couch I suddenly hear a loud bang coming from the balcony area. I look through the shades and see the top of a ladder being pushed against the balcony and some woman screaming, “Derrick I know you u have some bitch in there!” I proceed to see the top of some woman’s head coming over the balcony and I’m just like WTF are you serious right now! This was a real life scene from THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE playing out before my eyes and somehow my dumb a** is caught in the middle of it!

Derrick’s eyes have now popped out of his head and he’s cursing up a storm and looks at me and says “This broad is crazy; you better get out of here and quick!” If looks could kill I would’ve killed him TWICE right then and there but Mama didn’t raise no fool so I grabbed my ish and hightailed it out of there! I ran down the steps of his building as fast as I could and as I came out I heard some crazed woman screaming and made a mad dash to my car! Needless to say that was my LAST encounter with a dude I met online. NEVER AGAIN!