HOW BEING SUPERFICIAL KEPT ME SINGLE!

How Being Superficial Kept Me Single
by TyKnighten  author of The Sexy Single Mommy blog!

As I look back over the course of my life and the men that I have dated and the ones that I dissed, dogged or simply ignored because I was so busy looking at the exterior that I didn't take the time, to look at his interior, I have to wonder if I would be happily married by now. Although I know this to have been a problem in my past, I am still repeating the same patterns today, at 40 years old...
Ms. Too Damn Superficial...that's me!There are men who I dated...one of which I was in love with and who I know loved me unconditionally that I broke up with because I felt that he was too old to NOT have his shit together. Many a friend told me that I he just needed the right woman behind him to get him on track. My response was always, "I'm not THAT woman!" I was so busy looking at what he DIDN'T have that I ignored all of the qualities that he DID have and many of those qualities were ones that you would want in a life partner.
After I broke up with him, I got with my son's sperm donor who HAD all of the material things that I THOUGHT a man should have but his character was fucked up!Even after breaking up with him andhaving a child, my ex and I remained friends and he was even willing to take us BOTH into his life and raise my son as his own but, true to fashion, I turned him down, still believing that he had to have XYZ in order for me to get back with him. SMH!

Years later, after I had surgery on my foot, he took the train to my house (he still didn't have a car), stayed the weekend, did my laundry, cleaned my house, cooked, rearranged my linen closet and hung out with my son and tended to me and I was STILL so stupid to be hung up on the things that he didn't have, that I still didn't give him the time of day while he was here, choosing to spend time in my room...watching TV and being dumb and ungrateful! And the crazy part of it all was that there was not ONE guy that I had dealt with that had all the shit that I thought was needed in order for me to be with them, that I could have called that would have done what my ex did. Ain't that some shit?
The moral to this story, for all of you who are out there looking for a man who has this long laundry list of what material things that you think a man should have in order for him to be THE ONE, learn from my mistakes. It's not always about what a man has or doesn't have but how well he treats you. If you can depend on him when things get rough, if he is willing to do whatever he can to make you happy, shows you that he cares and has a good character and a loving heart DON'T throw him out or discount him in order to waste your time with a bullshit ass man!The ones that are fine, nice bodies, nice cars, houses, good jobs and good dicks but are shallow as hell are NOT the ones that you want to even waste your time on because all thatAll that glitters is not gold and dicks come a dime a dozen and you still have change!

Don't ignore the man who isn't physically appealing to the eye, who may need to work out a bit or
who may be doing "bad" at the moment. Hell, no one is perfect and neither are you! Give people
a chance and believe it or not, a man who is worthy of your time will prove it to you, Just be patient and don't be superficial...like me!

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DATING DISASTER

Dear Diary,

Malik and I met at a wine festival a few months ago and never had the time to get together. We finally decided to meet over dinner and go bowling after on Saturday evening. Malik came by my house as promised to pick me up which I thought was nice. When I got in the car I was a little turned off by his conversation which lacked depth since he was a scientist and had intelligent phone convo, but it wasn't a big deal. We made it to dinner and had a good time laughing and just talking about each other's lives. After dinner we had previously discussed going bowling, but he then said that his cousin and his boys wanted to go to the club and that I should come with them. I was a little ticked off at this point, because the club was not what I had planned to do that night, plus wasn't really interested in meeting his cousin and friends, but whatever, I decided to go along with it. We had to drive about forty minutes to his cousin's house from the resturant which is where the crew was meeting, and I got out the car and proceeded to almost fall out the car because my heel got caught in the sidewalk. Malik rushed around to help me up and we laughed our way into the house.

 When we got inside there are about five of his friends and his cousin inside chillin and getting ready for the club. We lingered about thirty minutes waiting for them to get ready and then decided to head out. AS I was walking down the step to get to the front door I tripped and slid down the stairs! Yes I slipped twice! To make matters worse when I got up and looked at my shoe I noticed something brown on the bottom of it. I took the shoe off and sniffed it and smelled..yes smelled, DOO DOO! I don't know whose or what's Doo Doo it was but I immediatley threw the shoe down and yelled to Malik that something was on my shoe! He told his cousin who picked it up and smelled it and said that his little two year old daughter hadn't been there in a few weeks so it shouldn't have been her DOO. Wait what - why would your child's doo be on the bottom of the step anyway..wth! I was totally pissed and annoyed at this point so after the boys rinsed off my shoe I told Malik to take me home because the club was NOT where I needed to be that night before something worse happened!