Dear Diary,
I am a single woman dating in the DC area. I started using the Tinder app to meet different men and see what is out there. While I haven't had any bad experiences, things haven't all been roses and gum drops either. For those that care, I equate Tinder to being like a huge bar. Instead of having every random dude walking up to me trying to talk, I get to choose who I would talk to by swyping right or left. If I swype to the right, we can start talking to the left, I don't see you anymore. That's it. Tinder is nothing more, nothing less.
Recently I came across this guy who was cute. Middle eastern/Spanish looking guy and I decided to swipe right letting him know I was interested. We have been Tindering (sending messaging through the app) for awhile when he said he wanted some photos. We exchanged phone numbers and even additional photos. We were vibing and trying to meet up for our first date. Below is the transcript of us finally nailing down plans to meet up.
HIM: I thought you wanted to hangout
ME: I did, just got a new phone so I am finally getting messages. You want to do something tonight?
HIM: Sure, what do you wanna do?
ME: I'm open, Want to just meet at a cool spot, grab a drink, appetizer or something?
HIM: Do you wanna go to a hookah bar?
ME: I'm ok either way, there is a place on U street Chi Cha Lounge or something or another, food is okay, there is also a place in Adam's Morgan too, but I have never eaten there, so you decide which one. BTW, do you smoke other things?
HIM: Okay, gotcha, only issue is my car is in the shop, so I can catch the metro to DC
ME: I can metro too, its easy for me as well. So then the one on U street is on 17th. It's Chi Cha Lounge
HIM: Got it!
ME: I am working late since I am doing a compressed work week, is 9 too late?
HIM: I think it should be fine, but I will let you know for sure soon.
PAUSE: To not make this post go on forever, I am paraphrasing the next few texts. He reveals that he smokes green, which is totally cool with me since I smoke as well. We decide that we will also smoke some green tonight and that he will pick some up and bring it with him. He asks if he can come to my home or asks if I want to come over to his place. I tell him flat out, he will not be coming over to my house and I will not be going to his house. I let him know that we just met and I do not feel that we should be going to each other houses. So after that we continue talking about where we will meet.
HIM: Do you mind picking me up in Arlington? Its on the way to DC
ME: I am in Baltimore, lol.
HIM: Oh wow. I thought you lived near DC. Well if you don't mind picking me up I'll get two grams and smoke you out.
ME: I live near DC but work in Baltimore and I am at work now.
HIM; Oh okay. Well since you live near DC, you mind picking me up in Arlington? Since I don't have a car now?
ME: No, I am actually not comfortable with that. and I hate to sound like a bitch, but no. We can meet in DC tonight at a time that is easy for you but I can't come and pick you up.
HIM: I means its gonna help me out a bit, cause to go to DC will take about 30ish minutes through metro. You will just be helping me out a lot. I mean were gonna smoke anyway. Whats the difference in meeting in DC or Arlington, there like a couple minutes drive. I am saying it would be really nice and cool of you to do this favor for me. And in return I'll buy the weed.. I'll even pay for your gas if you want.
ME: I don't need a man to pay for weed or for my gas. I'm self sufficient for the most part. Plus I don't ever want to give off the impression that if you give me money I will do stuff. I can't be bought. At the end of the day I think you are asking for a lot on the first date. I understand the car situation, why don't we wait until you either get your car or we can both meet in a more central location
He then proceeds to continue to beg me for a ride blah blah and I am really THROUGH at this point!
WTF? Are you serious, I am thinking. Dude, didn't I just say I was in f****ing BALTIMORE, I work past the freaking airport. So you want me to drive all the way home, through the city and into Arlington to pick you up because its easy for you. WTF, because you can't take 30 minutes on public transportation to get into the city. So its okay to ask me to come over an hours, but you can't be inconvenienced or do anything? What a joke. This is your first impression and our first date and you have all these favors you want to ask. So, ladies, am I being crazy, too harsh, should I have given this dude a pass and picked him? I can't believe he even had the nerve!!!!!!
The Dating Vixen- Girl the answer is NO! the ONLY thing I can say that I disagree with is the Breaking it Down telling it like it is Sustah Soldier part; the 90's I'm Independent Speech. We tend to go wrong with guys by ranting about our Independence. By the tone in your conversation he knew you are a Intelligent woman and What kind of woman he was dealing with. However!! Bruva From Anuva Muva's Luva Why in the world would he adamantly ask Can you come get me? I'll put some gas in Ya car AND Get the Green Boss!( in the worst slave voice) You can't Beat that Can you Come get me? REALLY!! Dude you were afraid that if you got off the bus your transfer was going to run out. Let's break it down It's 9 pm already so you get off the bus, go get the green, get back on the bus now you're pressed for time and won't make it in time for the meet up. That could have happened I will give you that much However, I don't know the distance between the two cities;but from what I read it's a Hike! You knew before hand and probably thought Yo! I can pay for the green and put gas in her car You sat down and plotted; What you did was sat down figured she come get me and we go get the green and this 5$ I got in my pocket (ok maybe it's not 5$ okay 6$) I can slide in her tank we smoke and BOOM! The night is young. Come on Meng! maybe 6 months, a year, maybe even 5 years but the first date Get it Together!!
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed, I have to admit. Rarely do I encounter a blog that's both equally educative and engaging, and let me tell you, you've hit the nail on the head. The issue is something that not enough men and women are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy that I found this in my hunt for something regarding this.
ReplyDeleteNo thats right its the first date and he should not expect this. You need to meet in a location where there is other people around. He is totally out of order to think you should pick him up.
ReplyDeletewww.ugly-date.com
Well I know im young but ive been through a lot been single for 2 and a half years now my last relationship was horrible and finally ready to start somthing new (:
ReplyDeleteI Like to swim, run, and do yoga. Studying music business so thats pretty exciting.. want to know more talk to me. Wants to date but nothing serious.
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