My friends and I were looking for an apartment together and went to look at these amazing apartments in DC. After my last relationship ended in an epic failure my friends knew I was always on the prowl for new conquests or "prospects" I should say. WhenI got to the apartment they told me I was going to be in love with the leasing officer and I thought to myself ,Yea Right! So when I finally saw him I was like eh he is kind of short ,5'8 ,but nice complexion and a beautiful smile, well dressed, so not so bad all in all I thought. He takes us around and we are talking and I realize he's actually kind of interesting. He is funny and personable and as I continued to be around him he definitely got more attractive. We start doing some sexy flirting and he starts calling me Mami. Come to find out he is from the Dominican Republic ( Heeeeeey Papi) and like so many others I am a sucker for a sexy accent and a man who knows how to speak another language. Anyway ,we decide to exchange numbers. During our first convo on the phone he suggests that I come over so he can make me dinner. Now I am telling you that the first date at his house should have been a red flag, but, yes ,I was being the typical girl and just disregarded it. We were supposed to meet at 5 pm in Adams Morgan at Tryst. So I get there early and I am waiting outside a Starbucks talking to my bff before the date. There ends up being some confusion and he doesn't come and get me until damn near 7 pm. At this time I am talking to my girlfriend and contemplating if I should leave. Somehow he magically shows up and is like lets go back to "my house.." So we literally walk about 2 blocks around the corner and he takes me to this this beautiful four level 4 bedroom brownstone. I mean absolutely amazingly great layout and everything. So we are drinking and grilling, and somehow while we are outside I close the door. What I didn't realize was that the door was locked, so we are literally locked out of the house! I am like where is someone with the key. I am about to freak out because up to this point everything is cool. We are getting along well. The conversation is good he compliments me and seems cool. So I immediately think Shit,this date is ruined I have locked us out of the house and we have no way of getting back in. In the midst of the lock out and confusion things went from bad to worse. While I'm over there panicking he is amazingly calm. When I ask him what should we do, he says, " Oh I'll just call my boy whose house this is" Wait pause...WTF...DUDE THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE???
He winds up calling his friend and he tells him this trick to open the window and he somehow manages to slide through and climb through the window and then open the door. I am like WOW, during the entire thing he keeps it cool, and never ever gets mad or even flinches. He is completely chill which is such a turn on( in spite of the fact this is not his damn house!). I like a man who has emotional stability because I am an out of control emotional trainwreck sometimes. Once we get inside we get back to making dinner together. Because of this incident I ask him whose house is this and he tells me its not his but his friends and he is house sitting. Ok, I did forget to mention this man is 34 has been married before but no children and supposedly lives in his own condo around the corner. So I go with it. So after dinner we are watching tv and somehow the moves are made and we go at it. Now within a few moments he ends up completely naked and is trying to stick it in. No he doesnt have a condom on or anything and we definitely haven't had the STD/AIDS talk or anything. So I am saying uh no, we can kiss, but we are definitely not screwing each other. But he is persistent and he definitely wants to play so I let him have all the fun he wants. Now, I know we should not perpetuate stereotypes but I have to say the stereotype of Latin men being more passionate was proven and definitely worth all the hype that night. This dude by far had some great head game going on. Anyway, I am getting tired of messing around on the couch and decide to go to a room. He takes me upstairs to a bedroom with an air mattress (TURN OFF) but hey the head is worth laying on an air mattress. So literally the man kisses me to sleep. I mean I literally fall asleep with him wrapped around my body and his mouth on mine. I wake up in the morning and he goes at it again, of course all the while hoping to stick it in. But I am going to be honest, his dick was kind of small (I unfortunately have been turned out by bigger men so this "little" man aint really turning me on down there all like that! But, I digress. Anyway, we wake up and my lips and body are sore from his particular attention paid to my body. We get up and get dressed and he asks if I want something to drink. I tell him water but he pours himself a vodka and cranberry which I think is a little much for 9:30 am on a Sunday morning. (I have to mention that one of the reasons this was a huge red flag is I have dated an alcoholic which is another story so this was another WTF moment) Anyway so after that he walks me to my car and we call it a day. So that was my first date with this man. So while my dealings with him should have ended there it didn't!
Where it really gets interesting is the second date. So I am out in the city again and we decide to meet up but for some reason we can't seem to get together until damn near 11pm. Anyway so we meet up again at Tryst in Adams Morgan. I tell him that I'm tired from working and at that I have to work the next day so I am not trying to do too much but chill. Anyway he starts with the compliments again which is nice but I realize through all of our conversations he hasn't really said much about him or who he is or anything. He generally spends the entire conversation talking about how gorgeous I am and how beautiful my eyes are and dont let anyone look at them. On the first date I thought it was cute, but now I am getting a little annoyed. Like there are other things to talk about than my eyes. Anyway, he's like lets get out of here. So mind you he said on the first date he has a condo around the corner. Now most of you know that parking in Adams Morgan is a fucking bitch so I had valeted my car. He was like let's get it and let's go so my dumb behind assumes we are going back to his place. So I pay for the valet and we get into my car and drive off. I am like where are we going and he says Virgina. I am like WTF???? I told you I am tired and I am not driving to fucking VA, I was like why don't we go back to your place. He is like no I have a better place. I am like ok, so he tells me to drive as we turn the corner this fool has the nerve to point out his condo and say I live right there. I am like WTF but why are we not stopping there, but lets see this better place. I should of known then this was not going to end well. Anyway we drive about 20 minutes away and he tells me to pull over. I am like ok why? So I do for whatever I reason I do and this dude takes the seatbelt off and proceeds to make out with me. I am WTF is going on here. Did we just drive past your house to make out in my fucking car!!!!!!!!!!!! you have to be fucking kidding me. You are 34 years old and supposedly single why the fuck are we making out in my car?!?!?! I was completely over it and I am like we are not doing this. He's like is everything okay? I am like why are we making out in my car? He tells me HIS PARENTS LIVE WITH HIMand they don't get along so each one stays in each of his two bedrooms and he sleeps on the couch. He says they are really old fashioned and would not understand him bringing girls back to the house. I am like really? Really? At 34, a divorced, man can't bring women back to his home? Ummm, sure! I proceed to take him back to the restaurant. Well I am not sure why someone at this age who has their own place would proceed to make out with me in the car unless there was a reason he did not want me at his place. We have talked since and he says he can't believe I thought he was married. I said well let me come over. I'm still waiting on my invitation....so you decide if mi casa es su casa!
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