WHAT THA?????

Not to sound cliché, but when grandma said “Idol hands are the devils playground”, she wasn't lying! On this particular Saturday morning, while I was sitting around the house bored out of my mind, I decided to renew my subscription to Match.com (initially on this particular weekend, I was supposed to be in Virginia with a guy who had shown his ass that week, so I backed out of the trip). I began to read some of the messages that had been sent to me within the past two months where I was on my internet browsing hiatus (never really went out on dates with the men I met). There was one guy who had sent me two messages within that very week. After reviewing his profile, I thought that he may be decent. He seemed to be the adventurous type, his profile showed pictures of him at a gun range and sky diving. I figured conversation wouldn’t hurt.

I replied to one of his messages telling him that I had a blessed week. Within minutes he responded saying “It’s a beautiful day, how about meeting up for some coffee and enjoying the day with company…” Well, I got the message about two hours later, after I decided to kill more time until the movie I planned on going to see started. So back to Match.com I went. I got the message and at the end of it he left his phone number. I decided “what the heck” so I texted the phone thinking that would be the quickest way for me to get in touch with him saying “I’m sure it's too late for coffee, but how about dessert?”

He texted back with the venue - it was in Georgetown (can’t remember the name of it now). We were meeting at 2pm.I have never enjoyed riding around for long periods of time looking for parking, so I grabbed the first parking spot on M street. However, I was a little late because the walk was to the other end of M street. So, maybe that is what pissed him off… but I’ll get to that in a moment.

As I was walking, I called my DC god-mother to tell her where I was and the name of the fool I was with. I did this just as a precaution since, afterall, I was meeting someone off the freaking internet. When I finally reached my destination I texted him to tell him I was there. I waited for about five minutes before I saw a man pull up in a silver Porsche who then proceeded to park illegally. He approached me and addressed me by my cyber name.

He was tall with a caramel complexion, 35 years old ,thinning hair toward the front of his head, and pigeon toed. This was when I should have ended things right here, but, it was just dessert right! So, as we were waiting on a table, we covered the basic, surface getting to know someone conversation. The questions of “What brought you to DC”, to “What do you do” were all answered. Hmm… maybe he didn’t like what I did as a profession on a day to day. Wait… I’m getting there.

He asked me whether or not I enjoyed festivals. I responded that yes I did enjoy festivals. He then told me about the Taste of Bethesda which was that day and that he had a few friends there and asked if I would like to go. I didn’t mind. I asked him how we would get there. Of course he said he would drive. However, I parked at a two hour meter. He then told me that he would take me to my car so I could move it to some place safe. He explained since he lived in Georgetown he knew all the places where one could park and be okay (that was also his explanation for parking illegally).As I was giving him directions to my car (which was at the opposite end of M street) I noticed the music that was oozing out of his speakers. I asked him what kind of music he listened to. He named some artists that I had never heard of. He then told me that he would listen to anything and he turned on the radio. I guess that he could sense that I wasn’t feeling his taste in music. He made a few wrong turns on the straight shot to my car, but once we got to my car I asked him, “Now, you promise that you are not going to allow me to park somewhere that would result in a ticket?” He assured me that he would not. So, I get out of the car, and as soon as I turned around and walk towards my car door, he sped off!!!

Was it something I said…???